


That Doesn’t Mean He’ll Love Me Back

by made_of_tea



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Gay Stanley Uris, Homophobia, Homophobic Bill Denbrough, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 06:27:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21471523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/made_of_tea/pseuds/made_of_tea
Summary: “I’m in love, Bev.” Stan whispered.Beverly raised her eyebrows. “Then why do you look like the world is ending?”Stan didn’t say anything for a long time. When he finally spoke, it was so quiet Bev almost missed it. “Because I’m in love with Bill.”
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 148





	That Doesn’t Mean He’ll Love Me Back

Stan hoisted himself through the window after Beverly. Beverly signaled for him to stay there, then silently left the room to check if her dad was home. She came back a moment later looking relieved.

“All clear!” she reported happily.

“Awesome.” Stan replied. He looked around, having never really been in Beverly’s room before. He focused on the keyboard up against the wall.

“Do you play?” he asked, gesturing to the keyboard. 

Bev shrugged. “A little. You?” 

“I play for the services in the synagogue. Rabbi’s son has to be involved.” Stan stared at the floor.

“Maybe you could teach me something sometime.” Bev offered.

“I don’t think you want to learn traditional Jewish hymnes.” Stan scoffed. 

“We’re avoiding the topic.” Bev pointed out. Stan sighed.

Bev sat on the edge of her bed, patting the space next to her. Stan sat down, not looking at her. 

“I’m in love, Bev.” Stan whispered.

Beverly raised her eyebrows. “Then why do you look like the world is ending?” 

Stan didn’t say anything for a long time. When he finally spoke, it was so quiet Bev almost missed it. “Because I’m in love with Bill.”

Bev uttered a nearly silent, “Oh.” She wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “He’ll come around eventually. It’s just the way he was raised. I don’t doubt for a second that he will realize it’s wrong. I know he reacted badly to Richie and Eddie being together, but they’ve been friends for as long as either of them can remember. He will come around.”

“That doesn’t mean he’ll love me back, Bev.” Stan said quietly. 

Bev sighed sadly, hugging Stan as tight as she could. Stan was one of her closest friends, someone who had always been there for her in tough times. It was awful that he was in love with a boy who had been raised to think that homosexuality was unnatural. But life was hardly ever fair, even if the people who deserve good things the most get the worst of life. 

“You never know, Stan. You never know.” Bev whispered. 

Maybe it was strange that they whispered in an empty house, but their friendship had always been a quiet one. Gentle affection, silent understanding, whispered conversations. It was their bond, different from all the others. 

“Bevvy, do you have a boy in my house?” Beverly’s father’s voice thundered in the previously silent room. 

They had been so wrapped up in each other that they hadn’t heard him come in. Stan maintained a calm exterior, but Bev noticed how his eyes widened a fraction and his hands shook ever so slightly. 

Beverly quickly stood up, withdrawing her hand from Stan’s shoulders. 

“Daddy, it’s not what you think. It’s not like that at all.” she hastily explained.

“You think I care about that? I know what’s in boys’ heads when they’re near you, Bevvy. This one’s no different.” her father’s voice had a calm fury in it.

Stan stood up and stepped in front of Beverly. “Yes, I am different, Mr. Marsh. I don’t even like women. I can assure you that Beverly and I are nothing more than friends.” 

The look on her father’s face turned from anger to disgust. “You brought a queer boy into my house, Bevvy? I thought better of you.” 

Stan flushed red, but held his ground. Beverly looked ashamed. “He’s my friend, Daddy.” Her voice was firm, though quiet in fear.

“Don’t bring him here again. Get out.” he ordered, then left the room. 

Bev whispered in Stan’s ear, “Go out the front door, so he sees you leave. I’ll sneak out the window and meet you outside. Okay?” 

Stan nodded, making sure Alvin Marsh saw him leave the apartment. He sat on the curb outside, waiting for Bev. Suddenly, Richie rode up on his bicycle, Eddie on the back with his hands around his waist. He stopped short, causing Eddie’s head to snap forward into his back. 

“Woah, sorry Spaghetti.” Richie said quickly, turning around to make sure his Eddie was okay.

“It's alright, Chee.” Eddie responded. They hopped off the bike and sat next to Stan on the curb. 

“What's going on, Stan the man?” Richie asked. 

“I was talking to Beverly, then her dad came home and kicked me out. She’s sneaking out right now.” Stan explained.

They heard footsteps on the grated stairs, then Bev came round the corner of the building with a backpack slung over her shoulder. 

“Oh hey, Richie and Eddie stopped by. What brings you to this part of town?” she greeted them.

“Well, I rescued Eddie from Sonia’s clutches and we were just biking around town, thinking about getting ice cream or maybe roundin’ up the losers for a good ol’ fashioned quarry jump.” Richie said joyfully. He had been in a fantastic mood lately, despite getting hate for his relationship with Eddie. 

Stan guessed Eddie was worth it. 

“Would you settle for a quarry visit with just four losers?” Bev asked.

“Sure! I don't really want to be around Bill at the moment.” Eddie stared hard at the concrete as he said the last part. Richie wrapped an arm around his waist and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“Same here.” Bev said lightly, “Let me just grab my bike. Stan, you can hop on the back of mine.” 

Beverly retrieved her bike from where it was chained to the fence, and Stan hopped on the back. They took off, four losers on two bikes headed for the quarry. 

They didn't end up swimming. What they did was sit on the edge of the quarry, legs dangling off high above the water. 

“Is it alright if we talk about something kind of… serious? I don't want to ruin your day, you two were having fun, but we should really talk about Bill.” Bev said, refusing to make eye contact with anyone. 

“Yeah, we should.” Eddie agreed. 

“Do we have to? I-” Richie started, but shut up when Eddie gave him a look. “Fine.” Eddie took his hand, intertwining their fingers. 

“I firmly believe that Bill is going to get over this. You guys are his closest friends, he can't just throw away years of friendship over something like this.” Bev told them.

“How do you think we should help him get over it?” Eddie asked.

“You might not like it, but… I think we just need to act like everything is normal. You two should just be yourselves, be all couple-y and shit. Then Mike, Stan, Ben and I will be really accepting, and Bill will eventually feel like he’s wrong and sort it out. He will get used to it after a while, that's for sure. He just needs time.” Bev explained.

“Woah, Stan are you okay?” Eddie’s rapid worried voice prompted Bev to turn to Stan immediately.   
He had silent tears rolling down his cheeks. She immediately wrapped her arm around him, offering comfort. Eddie got up and sat on Stan’s other side, wrapping an arm around him as well. Richie got up and sat next to Eddie again, wrapping a long arm around both Eddie and Stan. 

“What’s wrong, Stan?” Eddie said quietly, in his gentle voice that could calm even the most hysterical. 

“I-I’m in love with Bill. And he will never love me back.” Stan said, voice choked. 

Richie’s eyebrows raised to his hairline as he whispered, “Fuck.” 

“Richie!” Eddie hissed.

“Sorry!” Richie pouted. Eddie softened and turned back to Stan.

“What are we gonna do?” Eddie asked quietly. 

“Which one of us has been friends with Bill the longest?” Bev asked.

“Stan, then Richie, then me, then you.” Eddie declared. 

“Well, Stan can't do this conversation with Bill, I don't want Bill to hurt Eddie’s feelings, and Richie won't take it seriously. I am going to have a conversation with Bill and tell him exactly why he’s wrong.” Beverly decided. 

“I want to come with you.” Stan said quietly. “If it gets to be too much, I’ll leave.”

“While you guys do that, I’m gonna take Eds out on a date.” Richie decided. “Come on, spaghetti.”

Eddie gave Stan one last hug before standing up with Richie. “Good luck guys.” 

Stan watched them ride off on Richie’s bike. 

Bev stopped her bike in front of the Denbrough house. It had started drizzling, more of a sun shower than a storm. She knocked on the door and Georgie opened it. 

“Hiya Stanny! Hi Bev!” he greeted them excitedly. 

“Hey Georgie. Is Bill here?” Bev asked. Georgie had taken a liking to her the second they had met. Beverly was good with children. 

“Yeah, he’s in his room. He won't come out to play with me.” Georgie pouted.

“He won't come out to play with us either. That's why we came to him.” Bev grinned. Georgie let them inside and they walked up to Bill’s room. Stan knocked on the closed door lightly. 

Bill opened the door almost immediately. “Wh-why are you h-h-here?” 

Bev stepped in front of Stan. “Because you've been treating your closest friends like shit recently for something they're pretty happy about.” 

Bill looked ashamed. He stepped aside, letting them inside. Bev sat on the bed, Stan on the desk chair. “It’s j-just the w-way I was r-r-raised. I-I’m really t-tr-trying to be b-better about i-i-it.” He really did look apologetic. Bev knew he was trying his best, but it’s hard to erase things that have been drilled into you since birth. 

“Well, maybe you could just not say things out loud. Maybe you could keep those thoughts to yourself, so that you don't hurt someone's feelings. Eddie was avoiding you today because of how you acted.” Stan said suddenly. 

Bill stared at the rug. “D-d-dammit.” 

“It hurts my feelings too, Bill. We’ve been friends since we were seven years old! You know me better than almost anyone, right? You know that I'm a good person, right?”

“O-of course, S-stan. Nothing w-would change m-my mind a-a-about that.” Bill stuttered out, looking at Stan.

“Well, I’m gay too. Just like Eddie.” Stan was looking Bill dead in the eyes, challenging him.  
Bill’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline. Stan stood up and left the room. Bev listened to his footsteps go down the stairs, then heard him talking with Georgie. 

“F-fuck.” Bill cursed.

“I hate to say it but… he’s right, Bill. You're hurting people’s feelings.” Bev said sadly. 

“Okay. I am going to be better. I have been an awful person lately, and I am going to fix it.” Bill said with conviction, never stuttering once. “Invite everyone over here tomorrow.” 

Bev nodded, grinning. She set out to do that right away. 

The next day, all seven losers congregated at the Denbrough household. Bill’s parents had taken Georgie to see a real baseball game in Portland with his friends. They had the house to themselves. 

Bill put out snacks as a peace offering, mostly cookies and some chips with dip. Bev was first to arrive, then Mike, followed closely by Ben. Richie arrived with his arm wrapped tightly around Eddie’s waist. Stan showed up last, late for the first time in his entire life. 

They sat in the living room. Bev, Mike and Ben shared the couch, Stan sat in one armchair, Richie and Eddie shared the loveseat, and Bill stood. 

“I-I’ve been an a-asshole lately. I’m so-sorry. You two didn’t d-deserve that at a-all,” he looked at Richie and Eddie, “and I h-hurt other people’s f-feelings as well,” he looked at Stan, whose face was stone cold. “I’m a sh-shitty friend, and you guys deserve b-b-better.” Bill looked at the floor. 

“Yeah. You were a shitty friend. But I’m willing to forgive you if Richie and Eddie are.” Stan claimed.

Richie and Eddie looked at each other, then had a whispered conversation that none of the others could hear. “We are willing to forgive you, so long as you never say anything like what you said again.” Richie told him. 

Bill nodded. “I promise.” He stuck his hand out to shake on it. Richie shook his hand, followed by Eddie, then Bill went over to Stan. 

“Forgive me? I r-really am s-sorry.” Bill said quietly. Stan’s cold exterior softened and he shook Bill’s hand. 

“Oh! By the way, Ben and Mike, I’m gay.” Stan said.

Mike gave him a thumbs up and Ben grinned at him. 

“We’re three for seven! Who will be the next to fall to the gay agenda?” Richie joked, lightening the mood. 

Bill squished himself on the couch next to Mike, making it a much tighter squeeze. Bev decided to give the rest of them more room by sitting on Ben’s lap. He looked surprised at that, but happy nonetheless. 

They decide to watch a movie, Dazed and Confused. Bill has seen the movie a bunch of times, it was his favorite in eighth grade. He doesn’t really pay attention. He keeps glancing over to Stan. Sure, Stan was only mad for less than a day, but Bill had hated every second of it. He couldn’t live without Stan. The fact that he was gay hadn't changed anything about him, Bill realized. Stan was his best friend, and nothing could ever change that.

Two months later, Bill was completely past his mild homophobia. In fact, and he would never tell any of the other losers this, he was starting to think he might like boys.

He still liked girls, of course. His crush on Beverly hadn’t been a joke. 

But now he’s having similar feelings for Stan.

He may be over his homophobia, but he wasn’t sure how comfortable he was with his own sexuality. 

He would learn to accept it.

One day, it just became too much.

Bill’s thoughts seemed to be eating him from the inside out, telling him things that he knew weren’t true but felt like he had to believe. 

Bill decided to talk it out. And who better to talk about it with than his best friend?

He rode Silver to Stan’s house, knowing he was free because it was a Saturday. He knocked on the door, and Stan answered quickly. 

“H-hey, Stan. I really n-need to talk a-a-about something, are y-you free r-right now?” Bill asked, nervous for some unknown reason. 

“Yeah, of course.” Stan told his mom where he was going and hopped on his bike. They drove down to the barrens, sitting in the grass. 

“What did you want to talk about?” Stan asked.

“You d-don’t have to a-answer, but h-how did you know you were g-g-gay?” Bill asked, not looking at Stan.

Stan was silent for awhile. “I fell in love with a boy,” he whispered eventually. 

“H-how did you kn-know it was l-love?” 

“I’m my mind, he could do no wrong. I felt this way about him no matter what. I liked every part of him, even the bad ones. Well, except for one thing. But he fixed it, and I love him for that. He does so much for me, for all of his friends, he’s such a good person. He...” Stan seemed to catch himself before he said too much. “That’s how I knew I loved him.” 

Bill looked at Stan, into his bottle-green eyes. “I th-think I might l-like a boy too.” 

Stan parted his lips, “Bill... it’s you.” 

“I know.” Bill said quietly. Then he leaned towards Stan and captured his lips in a soft kiss. Bill can easily say it was the best kiss of his life at that moment. 

Stan pulled away, “Wait, wait... I want you to be completely sure you like me first. I don’t want to be an experiment, Bill.” 

“Y-you won’t be. I p-promise.” Bill said sincerely. “But if y-you want me to w-wait, I will.” 

Stan nodded. “I just want you to be sure.” 

“Me too.” Bill said, smiling softly.

A week later, Richie is squawking in indignation as he hands over five dollars to Beverly, having lost the bet they made. Bev thought it literally paid to be the person Stanley Uris tells all of his romantic information to. 

Stan just smiles at Richie’s noises of outrage, which are soon ceased by Eddie’s lips, and squeezes his boyfriend’s hand. Bill grins right back at him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in archive!!!! Let me know what you think!


End file.
